Mixed Emotions

“My thoughts and feelings are so mixed up,
I don’t know what to do or think.”

“I can’t explain why I’m feeling this way!”

“I’m confused – my thoughts and feelings make me anxious”

“Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m really here”

“I feel so sad at times that I don’t want to do anything”

“Sometimes I feel dead inside”

“I want to trust God but I’m having a very hard time doing that!”

These are some statements that have been occasionally heard in our home recently, mainly coming from one child. For a mom who “clucks over her little chicks,” this can be very hard to hear. My heart and mind can quickly fill up with doubts and worries. Are we really doing the right thing? Is God truly calling us to Kenya?

One night, as I was comforting my distraught child at bedtime, the Lord reminded me of His words, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

When I didn’t know what to do or what to think or which way to turn, I sensed Jesus saying to us, “I am the Way, cling to me. I will lead you along the right path. Keep your eyes on me and your body will follow. Not only am I the only path to salvation but I am the only Way for today and tomorrow… I will make straight your paths as you look to me. My Word is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. I will make you to know my ways and teach you my paths.” (Prov. 3: 5,6 and Psalm 119:105 and Psalm 25:4)

We all hear lies from the world, from the devil, from within ourselves as we are so prone to sin. When I’m confused and can’t make out my thoughts and feelings, I’m reminded to turn to Jesus and hear him speak “I am the Truth.” That night I sensed Jesus saying, “Look to me, cling to me, for I am Truth – I will make things clear to you as you set your mind on things above (on Me). Fill your mind and heart with the Word for I am the source of all truth, the incarnate Word of God. I will lead you in my truth and will teach you.”  (John 1:1 and Psalm 25:5)

When we feel dead inside or don’t feel anything at all, Jesus says “Cling to me for I am your Life! Your life is hidden with me – you have been given new life! You have died with me and are now risen to new life with me!” Jesus is my life! Jesus is your life…

When I spoke these life-giving words out loud with my child, God brought comfort to both of us. God’s peace washed over us. Oh, the power of God’s spoken Word! Please pray for His peace to continue to guard our hearts and minds (and yours!) in Christ Jesus, as we daily fight the fight of faith.

I am reminded of the lyrics of a beloved old hymn:

“Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee…
Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling.”