Who Am I?
Last Sunday afternoon Lilli and I spent about seven hours taking various personality inventories in preparation for our Connect Week at Africa Inland Mission. They were quite grueling! Our first one was over 500 questions! I suppose they weren’t meant to be taken all in one afternoon, one right after another.
I have to admit, about question 350, we began to doubt the necessity of taking these tests! We joked that if one of the statements on the inventory was, “This test is stupid” we would mark, “True”! Oops. We weren’t supposed to talk to each other during the test. Our proctor, my sister, Christine, must have been out of the room.
If they are intending on weeding out those who aren’t really serious about becoming a missionary with AIM with all the paperwork required just to apply, it must be working. I’m reminded of the following ad I saw in a book I’m currently reading:
HELP WANTED:
Pastor for a thriving church in the Midwest. Applicant must be a college graduate and preferably seminary trained. The prospective pastor will be required to solicit salary pledges (as well as moving expenses) from among our church members. This process will take approximately eighteen months, during which the pastor and his family must live “by faith.” If interested in this exciting opportunity, write today for our ten page application form.
The author then questioned how anyone could possibly seriously consider such an offer, before declaring, “Guess what? You did!” It’s a pretty accurate description, except it’s more like a twenty page application form!
As much as we disliked the process of actually taking the tests, and filling out detailed family histories, I’m sure they will prove helpful as we sit down together and go through the results in Atlanta. We’ve done this before, and benefited from gaining insight into our own and each other’s personalities. I have no doubt it will prove helpful to understand my own heart, and to strengthen our marriage.
That is, as long as we keep our personality characteristics distinct from our identity. My identity is in Christ. My identity is as a son or daughter of God. In other words, we have to be careful not to let INFJ or ESFP define us. Christ must define us.
What’s the difference? Let’s say Lilli wants to invite some people over from church. I tell her that I’ve been around people all day, and being an introvert, I really need some time alone. That may be true. But I must be careful not to let my personality label control my actions, instead of Christ. That doesn’t mean I never take a retreat from people; it just means I can’t let it control me. If Christ defines me then I must base my response on other questions besides my personality profile. What does love for my wife look like here? Love for those in my church? If my life is in Christ, where can I find the resources to help me?
The underlying reasons behind our personality labels aren’t morally neutral. They are seedbeds of idolatry. I might be an introvert because I’m selfish and I crave comfort and ease. You might be an extrovert because you crave the attention of others.
Yes, God has made each of us unique, with natural dispositions that make up our personality. That God has given us different personalities is a really good thing! It is evidence of his creativity and reflects the varied wonder of his own character. It’s also a means of his grace to us in relationship. The extrovert can help us introverts get out of our own heads and serve others in love. Us introverts can help the extroverts to slow down and perhaps spend unhurried time getting to know God and themselves better. However, because of sin, we can’t always trust the leanings of our hearts (Jeremiah 17:9).
Understanding our own and each other’s personality isn’t just so we can better understand and accept each other as we are. It’s so that we can better identify our heart idols and repent. It’s so we can help each other apply the gospel to our areas of weakness and grow in Christ and in joy. And I want joy!
Just don’t ask me to take another inventory anytime soon…!